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Sol & Me: A Birth Story

Writer's picture: Bria JaimeBria Jaime

I’m having more of an ego death writing my birth story than I had at my actual birth. Wow. 5 moons later and I’m writing my birth story. I have to give so much credit to the moon, she really has helped me with my womb and honoring the her that births. Mother. Mama Moon.


Contractions had woken me up at 1:50am. It was almost Saturday morning. October 8, 2023. I felt them come in steady waves every few minutes for a while. It felt like a steady period cramp but more intense. I had already been having cramps for weeks at this point, I wasn’t sure if this was just another false alarm. These were just period style cramps, not Braxton hicks. Earlier that day, which was Friday, I had gotten my last 41 week required ultrasound. In California, you can't deliver out of hospital past 42 weeks so for me that meant by midnight on Monday, October 10th I would have to be in active labor. Otherwise, it was going to be a hospital transfer. Half trusting and having faith he would come "on time" and half in complete anxiety and worry that I would have to do something in a different way I wasn't prepared for by either freebirthing or having to go to the hospital. I was sooo set on having an out of hospital birth my entire pregnancy, so it took a lot of faith to trust Sol would come just before the 42 week mark.

At this point on Friday we had just a few days left, I was determined! But also with the awareness that it's up to Sol too. It’s Him and I both. We are a team. We hear each other. Just before the appointment, in the morning I did a Midwives Brew, a castor oil concoction. I mixed it straight up with pineapple juice. This was my second time attempting. The first time I took the castor oil was the day before on Thursday but I had vomited it up. I was taking 2 tablespoons every 30 minutes for 3 times per midwives suggestion. Could not keep it down. This was my last natural resort before I had a decision to make- hospital, (which they probably would have pushed an induction), or free birth. I was stressed. A decision I did not want to make after holding my intention for the entire pregnancy to have my baby at a birth center or at home. But I still had faith. I knew Sol would come right on time. Little did I know it would be even more perfect and more divine than I could have ever imagined. On the full moon, on a Sunday, and with the moon in Aries. Synchronicity after synchronicity shows up about this divine birth time. The Quantum in full force.


I wish I had trusted more during these times. I thought I was calm but I think looking at it now, I was super stressed about it. I had even gone in for a gentle membrane sweep on Wednesday that I was all in for. I really wanted him to come before Monday at midnight! I was doing everything under the sun to get him to come (no pun intended). As much as I wanted to be patient and thought I was being patient, settle into the trusting and the present, as the days went on and no steady contractions, I was losing hope. “He’s not coming” I would think, and then “Gosh, Bria you don’t have to be so morbid, of course he’s coming. Divine timing my love.” Divine timing my love, divine timing my love, replayed over and over in my mind. As I struggled every hour thinking of what I should do next to help get labor started, another video to watch, another post in the groups I was in to look up people’s stories looking for someone’s relating to mine, doing Miles Circuit, drinking raspberry leaf, pineapple juice, we had just ate spicy tacos, taking primrose oil, eating dates, tons of sex, curb walking, dancing, womb massage, “He’s not coming” thought would come back. Since 40 weeks hit, it was a vicious cycle that increased more and more each day. While I was organizing for the 10th time again the closet, napping, listening to Hypnobirthing, reading books, almost everything I found it so hard to be present. It was a challenge. I was on a roller coaster.

So by this time Saturday at midnight, feeling these contractions for several hours, I finally reached out to my midwife and let her know what was happening since I had just done the castor oil that day and I was definitely cleaning out. Thankfully I was able to keep it down and that was our goal. I had also started losing some of my mucus plug since the membrane sweep. She said to come on in to get checked. We packed up just in case and headed to the birth center around 7am. Midwife Tiffany checked me and I was STILL at a 1cm, but she stretched me to a 3 and was fully effaced. She said I was in active labor and to go home and rest up as much as possible and to let them know when it was super intense. I was kinda bummed, but knew it was happening. I guess I wanted it to go quick from the moment I noticed these contractions. It already was hard. We went home and I labored all day.

Moaning and groaning, Uh’s, Oh's, Ah’s, my downstairs neighbors probably heard me. Fabian kept timing the contractions meanwhile him and I both trying to sleep. There was no pattern. The timing was so wonky. There would be an hour where it was super consistent so we kept in touch with Marivette, the midwife on call for me that day. She said to wait a bit until it's more intense based on how I was on the phone, however, if my water breaks to go in. I had been losing a ton of the mucus plug throughout the day so I was just riding the waves. I already wasn’t hungry, I couldn’t eat much. I tried. I think I had a McDonalds sausage McMuffin right after leaving the birth center (Fabian was starving & it was the only thing that sounded good to me), and then hardly anything the rest of the day. I was already beating myself up on the choice, but did better when I got home. I was drinking coconut waters, and applesauce, I probably had a protein bar and then I tried to eat a burger Fabian made for me and sautéed spinach. Had some YoungLiving Ningxia for energy (a wolfberry drink) that has tons of electrolytes. At least I was hydrating. Finally around 9 I noticed a lot more watery yellowish in my underwear, I was leaking. I checked with a swab if it was amniotic fluid, and it was. My water had been breaking. We called Marivette who was in Bakersfield, and she said to get there in about 2 hours. Those 2 hours, the contractions intensity increased. I was hurting even more at this point. Doing all kinds of positions, breathing, hypnobirthing, using my ball, Fabian applying counter pressure, cold compresses, moving, groaning, Miles circuit to help baby in optimal position. I was letting it alllll out. All my vulnerability in my home.


I felt Fabian and I get even closer. We went there. He was coming with me to my maiden death. And he held such amazing masculine space for me. He was that true partner force of protection and love and presence. And he was SO tired. We both were. Almost 24 hours at this point, and who knew how much longer there was to go. Labor had begun and we were in it. Together. Shamanic drums and Indian flutes playing throughout the day and night, affirmations on the wall, it was a vibe. I was grateful. But now it was time to go and turn the heat up a bit. We drove to the birth center, full moon high up in the sky. Too much into contractions to even take a picture. We get to the birth center and I was smiling at Marivette. She said no you’re not in active labor, you wouldn’t be smiling or talking lol. She checked me and I was only at a 4 I was like no way!! I could have sworn I was in active labor by now. To be admitted at the birth center, you have to be 6 cm and in active labor, contractions every 2-3 minutes. I couldn’t believe it. I was like but but but! And she reminded me just like Tiffany had earlier, this will feel a bit more primal. And I was like I think this is!! But little did I know…. So at that point she said go home, you’ll definitely be back in the morning.


We drove back home and entered a whole other realm that night. Contractions got closer together for an hour then farther apart. I did not want to bother anyone at this point, I said that’s it I’m not going until I think this baby is going to come out. Fabian kept trying to time them, I started getting louder and more stressed. I started crying hoping it wasn’t going to be another false alarm and bother Marivette and have to come back home. It was 5:45 Sunday morning now and Fabian started to think we should go to the center. I was really in a rough place and wasn’t really able to talk much anymore at this point. It hurt so bad. I was crying. But I wanted it. I loved it. I was like yes this is what you wanted this is what you asked for. To feel your primal. We call Marivette and she says to come in, she could hear it in me because I could hardly speak. I was so stressed that I wouldn’t have progressed, but we had hope. We said 3rd times the charm lets do it, 3rd time getting our things together, 3rd time going to the birth center.


I was getting embarrassed. I was feeling my ego. We got there and I did still walk up the stairs, she checked me and I was at a 6-7. Thank God. I was relieved. Yay. Progress. I started using the peanut ball but I was too sleepy. I wanted to sleep so bad. I was laboring on the bed, then on the toilet and kept having to release. It felt so good laboring on the toilet, it was around 7 at this point. Another girl came in that morning in active labor. They called Angela the other midwife to come, but she was a bit further in along than me so Marivette went to take care of her the remainder of the time and Angela and Sheila became my midwives. There was a little moment that shook Fabian and I a bit while we were in the bathroom, we couldn’t hear what was going on but it sounded dangerous outside especially since the police were being called, it threw me off completely. Something in my primal didn’t feel safe. Now looking back, I think that delayed the progression a bit. I started thinking, see this is why I wanted to have a home birth. I wanted to be in my space, my comfort zone. But how could I be complaining now, I love this space, it's beautiful and more of a vibe than my home now, and all the people and assistance I would need. Again being confronted with my maiden ego. And also hearing the other woman birthing somehow had me thinking about her a lot.


Such a full moon day for sure I’ll tell you. Energies all around were intense. I couldn't help but think about what was going on with her too, the incident being with her partner, and him not being at the birth. I could feel her energy too. So meanwhile lots going on, labor is definitely progressing, I’m almost in a euphoric physical and mental psychedelic state. Crazy thoughts coming up, me moaning, so tired half asleep, I was like am I high? I am on the craziest trip. Am I going to die? Is someone going to die here? Some wild crazy thoughts. Honestly I can’t even relay them all they came flooding in. Mind racing, body contracting. And the thing was I was so aware of it. I knew it was ego, I knew it was dark and I knew what I was doing was dying. Energetically. I was going down under. But in the inbetween. We lit my candle and had my birthing playlist on. I just wanted to lean over I leaned on Fabian, on the bed, on the bar. She filled the tub around 10am and I got in, it felt soooo nice. Now Angela was with me. I had already felt like pushing when I got into the tub so after being in there for a while, Angela checked me and she said I was getting hemorrhoids and it would probably be best to get out and walk around soon to not push since they were causing the hemorrhoids and to think about an IV to up my fluids. I realllllyyy didn’t want to get out of the tub. I think a part of me knew that if I got out, I wouldn't be going back in. I was disappointed, the water felt so soothing. I got out and tried walking around a bit, Angela used the rebozo on me and Tiffany came in and saw me. They gave me an IV and checked my dilation.


I was at 8cm! That helped my ego so much, but I knew I still had a bit to go to get to that full 10…I said I really couldn’t help pushing, I really felt like pushing. Apparently the bag of waters sitting on there still, but it hadn't fully broken. They asked if I wanted them to rupture it, I didn’t really want to, but at this point I was so tired and really wanted to get things moved along. Quick decisions to be made. I used my intuition, it said do it. I had them break it. There was some meconium in it, meaning Sol had already pooped. It wasn’t a huge deal, but contractions will probably come along a lot stronger now. And boy they did. It was probably around 1pm at this point, I kept looking at the clock, Fabian was beyond exhausted, I could feel it in his arms and hands when he counterpressured me. It had been 38 hours no sleep, he was really doing his best. I thought man I was supposed to have a doula here, then Fabian could sleep and I wouldn’t be thinking about other people right now or even be mad at him. Should I text my hypnotherapist? No we can do this. I thought. We got this. I labored a bit more, and then I asked Angela to check me. It was around 4:30 maybe around this point. She did and saw that my cervix was actually swelling up from pushing.


I was actually closing up now and almost to a 6. I was shocked and sad hearing that. Again another ego death. She said, you gotta take control of your body right now. Soften, breathe through the contractions, we need your cervix to soften so it can open otherwise you’ll have to go to the hospital. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My cervix is CLOSING? HOSPITAL? No. But then the deeper voice says, release this resistance and ALLOW. Angela presented to me a question. What is coming up for you right now? Release it and let your womb open. It was my choice point. I was passing the point of no return. Surrender, fully surrender and allow, or give up and fall into fear and go to the hospital. Time to allow the hardest physical pain. Time to allow your death. a choice to step into my power and surrender to all depths of me. All pains all sorrows all doubts all fears. Full force surrendering and allowing and deeply trusting my body to do the work.


I kept pushing, I couldn’t stop, I was trying so hard to avoid it by doing the short breaths. Tiffany came in and asked if she wanted me to have Angela to help me do some guided pushing and see if she can move my cervix out of the way. I said yes, I wanted any help I could at this point that would help me birth my baby safely here. I began breathing very deeply and slowly. Angela inserted her hands, and felt the swelling soften and open more through each of my deep breaths. I call her Angela angel hands. She could feel baby's head. She helped me push. I grunted and pushed like taking a big poop. Yes this is birth. The night got darker. An hour later still pushing and Sol is making his way through the birth canal. I had no idea what was happening, I never reached a 10, or did I when she helped open the cervix, I guess Ill never know but at this point I thought maybe I could get into the tub, but there was no going back into the tub, I couldn’t move. I tried pushing on my back, baby’s heart rate went down, so I got on all fours, baby liked that position, but I didn’t. So I got on my side. I still thought I had so long to go I didn’t realize he was so close to coming out!


Angela handed Fabian the rebozo and had me grab one end. I hadn't heard music in a while. I guess it had stopped at this point because Fabian grabbed the phone in the other hand and started recording while he and I began a tug a war with the rebozo helping me push. Angela cheering me on, helping me push, affirming, I’m grunting as loud as I’ve ever heard, sweating, thinking of my mom and her mom’s births, also partly offended that she didn’t want to be here, but did I want her there? I don't know, maybe I should just have a C section, am I really going to have to go to the hospital? Ugh no, why didn’t I have anyone else here to help, why Bria do you think you can do this like this, why aren’t you in the tub, why aren’t you able to do this by yourself, is this your karma, a million questions. A million maiden ego thoughts dying. I kept pushing. Push Push Push. You got this. I was like we are DOING THIS BABY let’s go. Yes, that's the way. Mama’s got FIRE and the moon is in full swing Aries now let’s GO. Now I truly believe the moon crossing from Pisces to Aries was my transition point. That was when I chose the way for Sol and I came back to earth. Fabian tugged, He was cheering me on filming, I pushed, she said I see his head feel it! I felt it. I was scared for a second, it was shocking. Wow he’s here he’s almost out. Push push push. I’m like where is the ring of fire? She kept saying I was going through it but I didn’t feel it.


It all felt so good, but so burning, it was like the most painful pleasurable release. The sacral chakra cleansing itself. Those who have birthed like this know the feeling. The full forced embodiment of sensuality meets sexuality meets your animalistic primal human nature. There he was, his head was out. I felt that fire now. Relief. Few more pushes his body will be out. Push push. Go. Here he is. Fabian talking to Sol so excited I felt like we just won an Oscar. A relief. We just ran a marathon. They placed him on me right away. I was beyond myself, so euphoricly present and embodied. A Mother. Sol’s mother. He was perfect. The placenta came out shortly and then with that hemorrhaging. I felt in a euphoria still and it became a whirlwind around me of mild chaos as Angela let me know I needed to tell my body to stop bleeding or I would have to go to the hospital. I immediately asked for a piece of my placenta to eat. Angela handed it to me. I put it in my mouth, held it in my cheek for a minute, chewed and swallowed it. Animals eat their placenta right after birth, it helps stop bleeding. I knew it would stop, but I had to really intend that. It kept gushing, it kept coming. Sol latched on right away and a few moments later turned bluish purple. Fabian yelled for Angela, they rushed to help him breathe again, which he did right away. He got a bit smothered in mama’s breast tissue. I knew he was fine.


I felt the mother’s intuition immediately following birth. In my own body and in his. I felt our connection as he was still connected to his cord and placenta, and we were flooded in oxytocin. The midwives gave me arnica, and an IV with some pitocin to help stop the bleeding, they gave me some other things as well, can't remember exactly what. Fabian was extremely worried. But also present for Sol and I. We were okay. We were being taken care of. I allowed my faith and trust and mother instinct to take over and surrendered to the now. My womb can be free. I can stop bleeding. Especially after eating my own placenta! It slowed down and I was okay. The amount of full moon energy that day was mind blowing. It only makes sense how much the moon affects earth. The midwife Tiffany made sure I got my nourishment after and we had our golden hour. I did get a couple stitches, they weren't absolutely necessary but would be a greater benefit than not so I did that. He was born whole and free of any newborn procedures. We took a special moment to have our own cord cutting ceremony a couple hours after the birth to have delayed cord clamping. 8 pounds .05 ounces, and 21.5 inches. at 7:21 PM.

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He was perfect. Sol Rayland Jaime. Our Sunday sunshine boy. On the Aries full moon like his mama’s Sun sign. It was perfect. Divine timing at its finest. If I only knew he would’ve come at exactly that date and time I wouldn’t have worried one single bit. And from now on I will always trust myself and my body first and foremost. I now honor the temple in which my Spirit resides. I felt all self harm and self hate leave that day. I feel like I am able to do things now that I wasn’t able to do before… something has unlocked. My physicality, my root chakra and sacral chakra. I unblocked stagnant energy there as I birthed Sol through the vaginal canal. I could feel that sense of I’m blocking myself out of fear when my cervix started closing up, so fully open and let him through. Let him through. Let him through.I felt all the chakras unlock in my body. It’s trusting so deeply In Yourself. Allowing yourself to move freely. Fear and resistance is an energy block.


I have truly stepped into my power. By confronting the fear and resistance, the ego, and saying I see you, I allow you, and I am more powerful than you, I’ve experienced massive generational trauma healing through Sol’s birth. It was like a light cleansing shower washing away all my darkness cleaning to pave the way for a new future. Another Star has been born. Sol. Planting the seeds for a new generation. I am grateful I could be the one to help his way through. My first birth in this lifetime. True transformation. A Phoenix rising from the ashes. Everything that was hard before has become easy. There really is no stopping myself now. How could I after I conquered the hardest thing I could physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually do? To truly know my strength now, when I have doubted myself so many times before. What an honor, to have a womb, and to be wombyn. Thank you.


Bria Jaime


P.S.- I would like to thank my birth center, Pure Births in Santa Clarita. Thank you for being a warm and beautiful space available for those who choose out of hospital births. You all are angels with the work you do and our family is forever grateful. Thank you to Tiffany, Angela, Marivette, Sheila, and Jordan for being such a joy and safe space to come to. We always looked forward to seeing you all and your support through all prenatal and postpartum appointments and most importantly our birth.



WATCH THE EXCLUSIVE BIRTH HERE: Pushing part, graphic, FYI.

See exclusive birth photos here:









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